Finding The Values Driving Your Life

Hump Day Conversation #7: Discover how to find the values that drive your life!

Introduction to Finding Your Values00:04-02:29
Why Are Values Important?02:30-07:39
Developing A Sense of Self07:40-09:01
Discovering Your Values09:02-11:14
The Exercise11:15-14:04
Dr. Ben Boudreau’s 5 Values14:05-18:27
Dr. Clayton Roach’s #1 Value18:28-19:13
Conclusion19:14-21:24

Introduction to Finding Your Values

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:00:04] Tonight, we’re talking about values, so why don’t you lead us into this discussion, Ben? I really enjoyed what you shared with me, so go ahead.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:00:13] As children, our parents and teachers, they pass their values on to us and we lived our lives based on the lessons that they showed us were important kindness, friendship, listening, et cetera. You know, treat those the way you want to be treated. Always be nice to your neighbour. These are values that don’t change. However, during life and in this ever-changing world, as you guys know, we may need to make our own sort of values and it may shift with what’s happening in our lives and the people who are surrounded with and those that we love.

So what does this mean for us? What does the future hold? How can I persevere? Now, introducing the importance of finding your values and what that means for you and how it can guide you to reaching your goals and doing the proper actions to get there.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:01:13] I agree the importance of values is basically they become the barometer or they become your north star in terms of the decisions you make every day. A great mentor of mine said never choose the opportunity to overvalue. In other words, we get opportunities to us all the time. A friend comes to our place. Hey, do you want to go out tonight or do you want to do this? Usually. If you say yes right away, it’s usually an opportunity decision versus a value decision. So really think about what your values are and let your values be the doorman. What I mean by that, if you’re at a bar and there’s a doorman, he decides who comes in and who comes out.

I’m going to tell you it’s far easier to not let somebody in based on your values and not opportunity and say you want right now. This is not based on my values. I’m not going to let you in. I may not want to say it that way versus letting them in and then at one point like, man, why did I let this person in? And I’m going to challenge you when you think back on the things that didn’t go right in your life is because you let somebody into your life that you shouldn’t have let in. And the reason you let them in is that there was an opportunity and you chose that opportunity over your values. So why are values important?

Let’s go over that discussion again, because I know we’ve got a good list there and we can kind of chime in and out of that list. Go ahead.

Why Are Values Important?

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:02:38] Sure. So the first point of the list is values help you find purpose. Values help us align our lives with what’s most important to us, be it at that time. And so when you have purpose and you know the things that you need to do to get there, your values are sort of like a vehicle. They help you drive towards the things that you want and towards your purpose. So it’s like gasoline. Yeah, exactly. And so it brings you towards more of the things that make more of satisfaction in your life. Beautiful.

The second point values help you react in difficult situations, so if you know what your values are, you can easily navigate, OK, if I need to go left in the car and I need to go right, if you come to that fork in the road, your values tell you, OK, I need to go left for this particular reason or I need to go right.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:03:39] Moreover, just like when I was talking about right value over opportunity, something comes in. No, I don’t want this right away. You can be a lot quicker if you make your decision based on your values.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:03:49] Right. And this is one that will pop up for a lot of people. Family. Money right now, if you value, let’s just say I’ll pick this one, if you value your family over money, you’re going to take that ride, you’re going to pick family first, right? Because money is not as important as your family. And so it makes things a little bit easier when you sort of set that value up if it’s a one or two. And we’ll get to that exercise in a second. Yeah. Number three, values help you make decisions, so this is similar to number two, it helps you make that easy decision very quickly.

So if you’re trying to lead a healthier lifestyle and let’s just say one of your top values is health, then you’ll probably be more inclined to go to the grocery store and pick up healthy food items than you are to go through a fast-food restaurant.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:04:43] Or deny an opportunity of eating chicken wings with your friend over the value of maintaining the momentum that you’ve been on for a month of eating healthy. Right.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:04:54] Absolutely. Number four, values help you clear out clutter, right? So if we have this giant bag and you know, you’re just sifting through it all the time and you don’t know what your correct direction is, you’ll always your mom will always be filled with a bunch of fog. So values help clear the fog and they give you, again, a direction to go into.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:05:23] Beautiful. I like that.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:05:28] This is number five and I mean this is very subjective, OK, its values help you choose the right career. Now, for Dr. Roach and I, we likely have similar values in our life. We have a very we have the exact same career. Right. And we have very similar paths in our lives now. Now, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the career that you’re in is the wrong career. It just means that maybe you don’t value career over family, right, so you have your family as number one. So it doesn’t necessarily drive that, but a reflection of how you act at work and the way that you behave in the way that you carry yourself. It doesn’t matter who you are or what career it is, your values will determine how strong you are in that position.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:06:14] Here’s one thing I want to say about that. Many times I have parents come in and they’re a little frustrated that their grade 12 child has not determined what profession they want to be in for the rest of their lives. And that’s a challenging decision. So you know what happens? Their child takes a break and they go off to Europe and travel. It’s not that the child is lazy or but at that point in their life, they value exploration and learning more than committing to a career for the rest of their life at that moment. Right.

So I know it’s tough and I get kids growing up and probably I’d be in the same situation if they want to take a year off. It’s a little challenging in our minds because we know what lies ahead as a parent. But at that moment in time, their values may be a little different than what we have in mind for them, right?

Developing A Sense of Self

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:07:05] Yes. And another point as well, the values sort of determining whether or not, you know, if you can take a promotion in your job. Yeah, maybe you’ll value looking towards that promotion. But if your values are family and if that promotion means taking time away from your kids are not getting a getting out to the campground, doing this and that, then you may not want to take that promotion, even if it means that you’ll get further in your career. It all depends on what matters to you. Values help you develop a sense of self again, they tell you a little bit more about who you are and this is a deeper sense.

This is really about understanding who am I as an individual? What are the things in my life that don’t fit the real me, the values that I have at this point? Love. So and once you know your values, it helps you increase your confidence so you can steer in whatever direction you want and nothing can take you away from what it is that matters to you. In life, right, you know that these are the things that you value and you can fish out right away if you’re meeting somebody in your life that doesn’t have a similar value, you can realize in a very quick amount of time if that person is going to be somebody worth connecting with or they can help you get to that next level or help you succeed.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:08:32] So that is why values are important. I can tell you, you know, with growing kids, one of the things that when you talked about confidence, kids get a lot of opportunities. And I think one of the reasons kids get lost is that they don’t fully understand and they get lost in the opportunities and they choose or make bad decisions is that they don’t firmly know what their values are because if they did, they could make decisions based on their values versus the opportunities that are presented to themselves. So one of the things that we want to talk about right now is what’s the application?

Discovering Your Values

OK, well, values are good. We know what values are. What’s the application of this in your life? So one of the things that we want to do in terms of, you know, the application part is identifying what your values are. So one of the things that I always do when because I mentor chiropractors and some of them sometimes are lost in terms of who they are individually and their practice suffers because of that or their family life suffers because of that is identifying what your values are. I want you to take a second right now and think about the people you hang around with, the people you like to mingle with, and you really connect with.

Furthermore, what are their values? What are they like to do? Do they like to travel? Do they like what do you like about those people, the mentors you have? What do you like about them? The books you read, the things you buy when you go shopping? Those are all clues as to what your true values are.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:10:02] OK, if your goal is to have a chicken farm in the back of your house and you know, you’re reading books on how to create like I don’t even call it like a hen house and all that stuff. While your value might be nature, your value might be eating from nature and not eating pesticides. That’s phenomenal. So if you’re always thinking about that, what’s your dominating thought? Are you constantly think about ways to make money or you constantly think about, you know, your next trips and what you’re going to see and what you want to explore? Those are all clues as to what drives you every single day.

You will build an amazing life when you spend a lot of your time in your highest value. And if you can delegate the stuff that you don’t value, then you will create more time in order to live at your highest value. OK, so let me repeat that, if you can delegate what you don’t value, it will allow you and buy you more time so you can spend it or choose to spend it in your highest value, be it, family, travelling, whatever you want to do. So how do you create that ranking? Do you want to go through that then? Yeah, guys, this is a breakthrough. This is what you need to do this week. All right.

The Exercise

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:11:22] This is the exercise, the exercise, the exercise. So you guys know this already from me. Get your pen and paper out right now or have your notes open on your phone. To discuss what you feel you stand for. That’s number one. Think about it. Look at the top individuals in your life, like Dr. Rotaries saying, your mentors, your heroes. What do you think they value? What do they stand for? And then what you do is you rank your top 10. You can go you can create a list one through 10. And you’re going to do a round-robin. So you ask yourself, is one more important than two? OK, yeah, one’s more important than two. Is one more important than three? OK, yes, one is more important than three.

And so you go down the list one to four, connect one to five, one to six, and then you do the same thing with two. Is two more important than one? You’ve already discussed that. One is the most important is two more important than three and so on. And then what you end up with is a round-robin collection of your top ten values. And then what you do is you can cut that list in half and you can have a top-five value. So you can focus on them a little bit more because it’s tough to keep track of your top ten. It’s easier to keep track of your top five.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:12:37] I was just going to add that Ben, I think would start with five. Like five is really what we can focus on, that the mind will keep in five things. Right. So if you can do the exercise in terms of look at your house, look at your books, the mentors, the people you hang around with, come up with five and then rank in that way, just like a hockey tournament where everybody plays everybody, one against two, two against three. What’s more important, you’ll end up with one through five.

Value one value to value three, start underlining your life based on those values, start making decisions based on those values, eliminate opportunities right away if they do not align with your values, the more you do that, the more you will create fulfillment, which to me is the biggest thing. That’s what defines success if you’re fulfilled in your life. Right, because there’s nothing worse than having success and not feeling fulfilled because you never did anything you really love to do. Right.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:13:35] Yeah, success in a dumpster fire, right, that’s where you get the clutter out of your life, right? It eliminates the confusion and you can see more clearly the things that are really important, because when you really value something if it’s even a small little thing, that little bit of your number one value that you got that will trump all the other dumpster fire stuff and all that stuff, the disorganization that’s going on in your life. Yeah, I’m just going to talk about my five values.

Dr. Ben Boudreau’s 5 Values

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:14:39] There’s like an app for everything.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:14:41] There’s an app for everything now

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:14:42] And pretty soon to get an app where you can get adjusted well enough. Like we’re out of a job,

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:14:46] We’re out of that way unless we create the app. That’s right. That’s right. Unless we create the app. All right.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:14:54] www.personalvalue.es e as an elephant. S as in Santa. So I know it’s a weird one, .es but it’s really cool and it kind of goes through what we were talking about, that ranking of your values and its own computer. So a lot of people that are tech-savvy and want to do it, it’s not that hard. It’s actually you just download. I just looked at it. It was actually pretty cool.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:15:19] Yeah. So I’ll talk to you guys about my values because I think that values are a great way to connect with everybody as well. When you share your values with others, it makes you a little bit closer to people. So my number one value after you actually, you know, a lot I’ll startups from five and then I’ll go to number one. So my fifth most important value to me is ethics. I’m a doctor of chiropractic and ethical practices, which is one of the most important pieces in my career, and to look at somebody and say, you know, this is why you have to do or this is what’s necessary is a huge piece of what we do.

As Chiros told the point, people in the right direction. My fourth most important value is authenticity, authenticity in myself and authenticity in others. And so when I seek out other people or people that I want to have close to me, I want to know that my relationships are authentic and that what they’re actually doing to help me or what they expect from me is true with their values. My third is discipline. And Dr. Okeanos, I try I show up to work each day and I come on time. And I love coming to work. And I’m disciplined in my actions.

I’m disciplined in my routines. I wake up at the same time every day and I do the same thing every morning. And I come to work and I love and discipline is a huge part of my life and my mentors and I would say one of my biggest mentors in sports I looked up to as a kid, as Steve Nash.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:16:47] And I think he’s probably one of the top disciplined basketball players to ever play in the NBA. Six one guard to defy the odds yet NBA MVP. So it takes something to get there. And I look up to people like that saying to a doctor, OK, I look up to him, too, because I know he’s disciplined. Just a little plug, my number two is respect, respect for myself, respect from others, I’ve grown up with the value of treating people the way that you want to be treated. And I really think that that’s a true, true thing. And especially when we go to Roache Chiropractic, we’ve created a community that’s based on treating people the way that they want to be treated.

You can tell everyone comes in and we all treat each other with the respect that we deserve. And no one value for me is my health. I want people who are around me to be as healthy as possible. I want people to succeed and I treat myself and I treat myself just as well as I want to treat you. And sort of the advice that I give and the education that I give in practice is exactly how I would give it to my family members and my close friends. And so that’s why I believe that we truly have a family because we take our health as our number one priority.

That’s beautiful. Yeah, it was a pleasure to share my values with you guys. And I really hope that that that’s something that can resonate with you guys. And I’m sure being that you were practice members as well, that you understand that this is.

Dr. Clayton Roach’s #1 Value

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:18:22] You know, that’s a priority list. That was awesome. Thanks for being vulnerable. And I’ll share my number one. I think it makes gives the listeners a little bit of an idea in terms of different values that we’ll name for me. No one is a connection, I think connection to myself and connection to others. Like any time I have a relationship, I really want to feel that connection because I think everything is through connection. And with these times right now, we’re so disconnected, which is why we did this in the first place, with whom the conversation is to connect with people. Hopefully, you guys appreciate that is that’s I feel connected to you guys. I look forward to

Wednesdays’s I feel connected every time I’m in practice connection with family. So to me, the connection is a big deal. And the relationship that I have not to maintain and the ones that I did not feel a connection with. So that’s my number one. So you guys make your lists, make this week impactful, make this week value centred. This is a freeing experiment and experience because it allows you to be closer to your true self and living your life according to your values, not necessarily what other people want you to do, which is a nightmare. So thank you for being vulnerable then. I really appreciate that you brought it up tonight. So I really appreciate that all of you guys who were on this call, guys, or this call, let’s call this what we call webcast Zoom call.

Share these Humpday conversations, so make sure you hit the share button like us, if you’re not following us on Facebook, what follows does versus like is that it allows you to get a notification that we’re living. All right. If you don’t want to know that we’re allowed to follow us. Right. You start going live every minute. But you want to.

Conclusion

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:20:08] But you want to. You want to follow us. And you want to like and you want to share with your friends and family. So that’s what’s happening now. I think maybe we can probably process what’s happening next week. Right.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:20:21] A little bit. Real quick.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:20:23] Ok, real quick, we’re switching gears. Next week. We’re going away from personal development a little bit and we’re gearing more towards something like an I don’t know, a body part maybe. Yeah, something like that.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:20:37] It condition. Right. So we’re going to talk about a condition we’re not going to reveal yet. But stay tuned because we got more stuff coming. Otherwise, we’re just going to go by the topics we want because you guys aren’t telling us what you want to hear. So make sure you comment on what you guys want to hear and we’ll make sure that we connect in a way that we’re talking about stuff you want to hear. I am done. You’re done. We’re done. All right, thank you guys so much for chiming in. We had a lot of people live, actually, so thank you so much. We really appreciate your attention, trust, and confidence.

And we’re going to continue to do this every Wednesday night, nine o’clock today was episode seven. We’re rocking it and you guys are rocking and go rock this week. We love you and appreciate you. What’s up? Listen, if you like this episode, you’ll probably like the other ones. Chances are pretty good. So here’s what you need to do. You need to like us and follow us on Facebook. Following means, you get notified when these two guys are alive. Next, family, friends. You need to share these episodes because you never know. You might help them because they need this information as well. And guys, if

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:21:44] You ever miss an episode, make sure you subscribe to us on YouTube. That way, you can watch the episode over and over and over again.

Dr. Clayton Roach: [00:21:50] Guys, we love you and appreciate you.

Dr. Ben Boudreau: [00:21:51] Take care.