The Science of Happy Holidays

Join our Hump Day Conversation #2: The Science of Happy Holidays! How are we all dealing with the expectations and stress during the holidays, especially during 2020?

Dr. Clayton Roach:

Welcome to our second Hump Day Conversation. We will get started at 9 o’clock. We are going to be pretty good on time here, we’re going to start at 9 o’clock every Wednesday night. So, Ben and I started this idea last Wednesday and about two hours before we did last week. I think the idea was to basically connect with our group of patients because you know obviously this whole new world has gotten us a little disconnected and we wanted to connect right because, in a world where everything is contracting, I think we can provide a little bit of an opportunity for people to expand a little bit and not contract all the time.

So, this is our second night and what we thought would be great to talk about is the holidays coming up and both Ben and I listened to a podcast from Tony Robbins and his wife Sage and they were talking about the expectations that are on our shoulders when it comes to the holidays and the stress. I mean it is palpable right now with our patients that stress is at an all-time high, not just because of the season but because what everybody is experiencing right now in the outside world.

We do not need to talk about what is going on, but we all know what is out there and it can be overwhelming at times. I am telling you; the spines of my patients are taking the beating right now and patients that have been doing well, some of them are going through relapses and wondering why.

Dr. Ben Boudreau:

You know, one of the big takeaways for me is you want to be able to find the blessing every day and then be the blessing and it starts from within. We have so many rules that we go through and rules that are placed upon us when we go into the holidays and it is good to let go of some of those rules and be a little more open and accepting of where other people might be at. We are going into a holiday season like Dr. Roach said, where stress is at an all-time high and uncertainty is at an all-time high. Am I going to get to see my friends and family this year, can I travel, am I going to have to see my grandchildren over zoom?

Basically, one of the big takeaways and one of the ways to sort of overcome some of this stress is to do what Sage and Tony talk about, a sharing circle. This is a huge takeaway so one of the first things that you are going to do is start by priming your mind with appreciation and thanks. You can do this by doing something very simple.

Dr. Boudreau Continued:

Take a piece of paper write down the things that you are thankful for this year. They can be stories that over the years you have accumulated, and you are like oh, I remember that story, that was amazing, or maybe it can be something as little as you discovered a new recipe this year, or maybe you started exercising and you lost weight. That was a goal that you wanted to reach, whatever it may be take a piece of paper, write it down.

The second thing when it comes to the holidays is now you have primed your mind; you can be the light for other people. You found the light now you can be the light, so you can ask people, you can share, this is what I was thankful for this year. It opens the door so that friends can be thankful with you and they can share their appreciation and love at the same time.

Third thing, because you have done this, you primed the environment with love, and you can ensure that everyone is heard and that you’re not only bringing physical presence this year but you’re also bringing a presence filled with love, appreciation, and kindness.

Dr. Clayton Roach:

That’s really good, Ben.

Dr. Ben Boudreau:

The last point here, so now you have found the blessing, be the blessing for others and what this will do is make this the best holiday season yet and you can do this whether you are with people in person or if you are seeing your friends and family over Zoom or Facetime. Practice sharing, practice being open and honest and practice priming your love and appreciation for others. That is my point, my big takeaway from the podcast this weekend.

Dr. Clayton Roach:

Yeah, that was good. One of the things that they shared was many of us right now are in a state where we constantly think about the things that we are no longer able to do, the things that have been taken away from us. The reverse side of that is instead of thinking about that you must do a Zoom meeting is that you get to do a Zoom meeting.

This technology was not available way back, you know 20 years ago so just changing that kind of struck me. We all get caught up in that conversation where we are talking about the things that we must do and well you get to do it. Realize there are some people that do not have the privilege of exercising, you get to do it or there are people that do not have the luxury, they don’t have grandkids and they’re alone. Well, you have grandkids, you just might have to see them on Zoom. Just changing from you must do it, to the point where you get to do it.

I think that was a good shift. Now, this is a true story. On Fridays we typically have a pizza day with our kids, and we will go around the circle and say what was one good thing that happened to you this week. Sometimes I think geez, you know my kids are not listening and they just want to eat their pizza. Sometimes the kids are like, well what is one good thing that happened to you this week and my daughter will say recess.

Dr. Roach Continued:

It occurred to us one day, we did not do that, and my five-year-old daughter Dieva said Dad how was your week this week? So, whatever they think about that, it is not about how we do it, it is about the patterning that they now have that habit of doing that and sharing that and having that sharing. Christmas is a great time to do that and I think if you do that and you kind of lead and be the example.

You said be the light. I think the people around you will kind of follow on that mood because we all know sometimes you get people that are negative in a room and suddenly, the whole room smells negative. It is very easy to get caught up in that, so we call this home day conversation, the science of happy holidays. Tony and Sage shared what is called the Quality Quantifier. We got like three or four minutes we might go a little over, but it is called a Quality Quantifier.

What that means is you are going to put a numerical value on the quality of what you are about to experience instead of afterward saying I should have done this; I was not happy with that. Going into the holidays you are going to create your intention before they even happen. So, many of you need to be honest with yourself right now and say leading up to the holidays how do I feel about the holidays on a scale of one to ten. Where are you and there are probably some of you that are at a two or a three? Some of you might be at eight. Here is the goal and this is what we need to take home tonight.

Dr. Roach Continued:

Where are you on a scale of one to ten if you are a two mark it down now. What you need to do is say what would bring it up to a four or what would bring it up to a three. You know what, if I got to go walk in the woods and have like an hour with myself during the holidays once a day that would make it a four.  What would make it a five, well what would make it a five is if we got time to sit down as a family because we never have time to do that.

We are busy and if we got time to sit down as a family for supper five out of the seven days that would put me at a six. What would put me at eight and you continue to go until you get to a nine or a ten and what that does is that you now have a recipe for the holidays on how you are going to create a 10 out of 10 experience.

Dr. Roach Continued:

Things will happen right. The sister that always gets drunk at Christmas may do that or your belligerent uncle might say things that you might not be fond of or whatever. You cannot control everything that is going to happen but what you can control is how you show up with that intention and that is one thing that totally got me on that podcast. There is a scientific way to basically bring that intention to the holidays with the people that are around you so that you create what you want instead of afterward saying man, you know we should have done this, and we should have done that and now it is time to go to work again.

We all know that once that happens then you are back into your regular monotonous routine of going to work and doing the things that you do. I don’t know if you like that Ben, but I love having a system and we’re actually going to sit down as a family this weekend with the kids and we’re going to mark down what would make it a 10 out of 10 for the holidays on our five days off. That way we can create ahead of time what we want for the holidays so the heck with the restrictions and everything that is happening. Most of that is out of our control so within that environment, within those restrictions how do we make it a 10.

Dr. Ben Boudreau:

Absolutely, and that is the second biggest takeaway for me, and they explain it perfect. We cannot control the actions of other people, we cannot, as much as we try to, control or try to avoid a belligerent family member or whatever it might be discussing.  The things that we can control are inside of ourselves. We prime our thoughts; we create the environment that we want. If you prime yourself for love and appreciation and goal setting that will make this a better holiday. It will be the best holiday yet.

 Dr. Clayton Roach:

I agree. I hope you enjoy this. This was a request. Some people that commented said that they want us to talk about the stress in the holidays and it just happened that I was listening to a podcast. I got Ben to listen to this podcast and it is prevalent, what we are talking about.

The whole goal with these hump day conversations is that we speak about something that you want. I know there is a bunch of you live right now and what I want to make sure is that you comment on what you want us to talk about. Write it in the comment sections. Cathy, I hear you, we are going to talk about things that you can do outside the office to keep yourself healthy. We are going to write down what you want to hear and then we are going to talk about it and that is going to be our schedule. So, every week we will look at what you want, and we will talk about that and later just FYI, we are going to turn in this into a podcast.

So, that is what we are going to do. We want to make sure that we connect people and give people a way to get answers about their health when at a time it is hard to get appointments with health care practitioners. We want to bring you altogether because we love you and appreciate you for your commitment to us and we feel that something we can give back is our time and expertise and help answer questions you may have. Closing thoughts, Ben?

Dr. Ben Boudreau: 

Find the light, be the light, and prime yourselves for positive attitudes every single day. Get up and be thankful that you can do it and that you get to do it, not that you must do it. Life is a blessing.

Dr. Clayton Roach:

Thank you, the whole thing you need to do is share this okay. We really appreciate you and we want to grow with this hump day conversation so make sure you share this conversation on your news feed. Just hit share. We are going to repost this webinar tomorrow morning on our Facebook page. You will always be able to find it. With Facebook algorithms, you will see it in your news feed, and it has gone but you can always go to Roach Chiropractic Centre and find it there. Make sure you are following us; you will get notifications when we are live every Wednesday night. 9 o’clock hump day conversations. Great to have everybody that joined us. Thank you so much. See you next Wednesday night at 9 o’clock. Take care.